Art and the Kingdom

Art and the Kingdom

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6 min read
Music

Noah Kahan and Religion Part 1

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6 min read

Noah Kohan’s music explores themes of religious trauma, spiritual divide, and the impact of religion on friendship.

Noah Kahan, an artist with over seventeen million streams and who was nominated for a Grammy in 2024, is releasing a new album on April 24th of this year. To begin hyping up his album, he released the album title track “The Great Divide.” In it, he explores a relationship that was merely based off of shared trauma that has been severed and explores his own feelings of longing to know if the friend is well. He also explore religious themes such as Hell. There are multiple easter eggs in the music video for the song. Two very important callbacks are to the songs “Orange Juice” and “Call Your Mom.”

When we see young Noah in a car with his childhood friends, the visor of the car reads “Call Your Mom” and later we see a younger Noah hand his friend orange juice. While there are many more easter eggs, these two are pivotal as the three songs – “The Great Divide,” “Call Your Mom,” and “Orange Juice” – may be exploring the same themes and life story.

Call Your Mom

First, we’ll quickly go over “Call Your Mom.” This song is about desiring one’s friend to find purpose, to refrain from self-harm, and about being there for a friend through darkness. In the song, the lengths to which Kahan goes for his friend is seen when he sings:

Stayed on the line with you the entire night
‘Til you let it out and let it in

Don’t let this darkness fool you
All lights turned off can be turned on
I’ll drive, I’ll drive all night
I’ll call your mom
Oh, dear, don’t be discouraged
I’ve been exactly where you are
I’ll drive, I’ll drive all night
I’ll call your mom
I’ll call your mom1

The song then talks about nights in the hospital and the grief that suicidal alienation creates. The ache is loud and silent at the same time, is terrifying, and is something that many of Noah Kahan’s fans can sympathize and empathize with. The bridge of the song explores ways the friend can stay alive:

Medicate, meditate, swear your soul to Jesus
Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason
Don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’
So won’t you stay, won’t you stay, won’t you stay with me?
Medicate, meditate, save your soul for Jesus
Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason
Don’t wanna drive another mile without knowin’ you’re breathin’
So won’t you stay, won’t you stay, won’t you stay with me?2

We are alive only when we have trajectorial lines to walk on; we need to “give ourselves a reason.” Having no purpose in life, or being an existential nihilist, increases the statical chances of suicidal thoughts, depression, and many more harmful associations.3 We need teleology within our lives and often this is brought by meditation, religion, and love. Noah Kahan does not care what option his friend chooses; he just wants his friend to keep breathing. In “Orange Juice”, it seems that the friend may have chosen religion.

Orange Juice

I do not know for sure if the friend in all three of these songs is the same friend, but there are many parallels. Noah Kahan, elaborating on the song, says,

I wrote Orange Juice about two friends reconciling after years of being apart. A tragic accident that they went through kind of separated them and one person found religion and the other person stayed in the town where the accident happened and kind of just moved forward… It’s really a song about how trauma can bind you and how it can also separate you and I always think that going through something traumatic should at least bring you closer to the person that experienced it with you. And I think the hardest part about that is sometimes it makes you go farther away and I wanted to write about two people coming back together after that time… I drew a lot of inspiration from my own life, my own struggle with addiction, and alcohol, and friendships that I’ve lost and haven’t been able to maintain. And I wanted to create a story about two people that represented a lot of challenges that I’ve gone through, that people in my life have gone through, and that’s what Orange Juice is about at its core.4

The song itself is amazing and is one of my favorites. In the song, there is the notion that religion has caused the main separation between the two. Kahan sings,

See the graves as you pass through
From our crash back in ’02
Not one nick on your finger
You just asked mе to hold you
But it made you a stranger
And filled you with angеr
Now I’m third in the line up
To your Lord and your Savior.5

Kahan here possibly refers to the fatalities that we learned about from “Call Your Mom” and Kahan later says that the friend did not put “those bones in the ground.” It seems that the drunk driving incident has caused his friend to find absolution in religion and because of that, he has abandoned his friends as they are like “crows that pull him down.” This will be of major importance in “The Great Divide.” This great divide is something one friend seems to want while the other does not. Kahan ends the song singing:

Honey, come over
The party’s gone slower
And no one will tempt you
We know you got sober
There’s orange juice in the kitchen
Bought for the children
It’s yours if you want it
We’re just glad you could visit6

Sadly, it seems that religion is the main cause of the chasm between the two. One friend has changed too much to come back to his life – both to his hometown and his friends. The other has not changed and this creates the challenge that many of us may experience in our own lives. To what degree should one’s faith dictate how one goes about past friendships? Can a devoted sober-minded Christian socialize with friends that drink? How can a Christian live in love, but yet cast aside his old friends? Should the other friends accommodate their friend’s desire to remain sober? Is it wrong for religion to divide? And, a question that I think “The Great Divide” proposes, is religion the correct answer to moral injury?

These questions will be explored more in Part 2 as we dive into the Great Divide.

  1. Noah Kahan, “Call Your Mom,” track 10 on Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever), (Mercury Records/Republic Records, 2023), audio. ↩︎
  2. Ibid. ↩︎
  3. Kyron, M. J., Page, A. C., Chen, W., Delgadillo, J., & Ngo, H. (2025). Beyond meaning in life: How a perceived futility in searching for meaning in life predicts suicidal ideation, Death Studies, 1–11. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2025.2529281 ↩︎
  4. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CqgIdTiJDDS/?hl=en ↩︎
  5. Noah Kahan, “Orange Juice,” track 10 on Stick Season (Republic Records, 2022), audio. ↩︎
  6. Ibid. ↩︎

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9 min read
Music

NF, Mental Health, and Christian Culture

9 min read
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9 min read

The rapper NF’s new EP FEAR wrestles with mental health issues and personal struggles, providing important lessons for Christian culture.

I, as a fan of NF, was excited for his EP FEAR (2025) that was released a couple of weeks ago; however, I was surprised by its content. NF has always struggled with his mental health, but in his album HOPE (2023), he portrayed himself as overcoming fear. He had found a map to hope, he had finally forgiven his mom in his song “MAMA” (something he could not do in his song “How Could You Leave Us”), and he portrayed himself as joyful and content within his career in the song “MOTTO”. Most importantly he had finally outrun his depression and fear in his song “RUNNING”:

I wish you well, but I can no longer stand aside
And watch you sabotage the two of us
I love you to death, but I can’t spend the rest of my
Life in this darkness, I’m done
I’m done1

To fully understand the significance of NF’s newest EP, we should go back to the beginning. Before he was under the name NF, he had made a Christian rap album titled Moments (2010) under his actual name Nathan Feuerstein. Once he was under the name NF, he stopped being a “Christian rapper” but still leaves traces of his faith throughout all his music. In his song “Mansion” he opened up about the abuse that he faced at the hands of his mother’s boyfriend, discusses his mother’s death, and discusses his loneliness. He also portrays his mind as a mansion, and it is here where fear is introduced into his discography:

Fear came to my house years ago, I let him in
Maybe that’s the problem, ’cause I’ve been dealing with this ever since
I thought that he would leave, but it’s obvious he never did
He must have picked the room and got comfortable and settled in
Now I’m in the position, it’s either sit here and let him win
Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can
‘Cause in order to do that I’d have to open the doors
Is that me or the fear talking?
I don’t know anymore1

He then went on to compose the song “Therapy Session” where he discusses how music is a gift from God. He says:

Like, this is something that personally helps me as well
I’m not confused about who gave me the gift
God gave me the gift and He gave me the ability to, to do this
And He also gave me this as an outlet
And that’s what music is for me2

NF’s music serves as an outlet for his struggles and even functions as a way to relate to God. In his album Perception (2017), we got a taste of hope for NF as he buried fear in his song “Intro 3”. It is also here where he introduced the keys that reappear throughout his music. In his album The Search (2019), he started the journey of finding hope. In The Search we got hopeful songs such as “Change” and “The Search”, but we also got vulnerable and despairful songs such as “Trauma”, “Hate Myself”, and “Let Me Go”. In the album HOPE, which is mentioned above, he began to produce more positive songs.

In his newest song “FEAR” we learn that fear has been unburied, that NF is struggling again with his OCD, and that NF has relapsed. Referring to the song “RUNNING” he says:

Told the world that I was sick of runnin’, then went back to runnin’, what a joke
Disappointed, yeah, me too, I thought I finally had finally made a breakthrough, guess not3

The Chorus then begins a discussion with God:

Standing back, watching my mansion burn to ash while I
Hold the gas can, asking God if He started this fire
Is this what You wanted? Is this what You wanted?4

NF poses a great question, does God cause the burning of some of our “mansions”? I think sometimes yes. C.S. Lewis thought that his grief over his wife’s death was an opportunity for God to knock down his “mansion”. Lewis writes, “He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.”5 The Apostle James writes, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3). While James is writing to persecuted Christians, I do think this passage can be applied for all kinds of trials. I think NF even realizes in his song “WASHED UP” that God is at work within his trials:

The Lord knew I needed this to survive the violence
The raw truth, I’m nothin’ without the Father’s guidance6

The “this” he needed to survive the violence is music, and he realizes that without the father’s guidance and gift of music, he would be nothing. One could even say that music is an instrumental cause or tool of sanctification for NF. If he is guided by the Father and the Father is the one who “started the fire” then could the burning of the mansion be something good? Could the burning of the mansion be an act of conforming one’s mind to a new foundation as the Apostle Paul tells us to do? In the music video for “HOPE”, NF, as the hope character, is outside of the mansion but gets pushed back into the mansion by fear. In “Mansion” NF wanted the mansion to be burned down:

Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground
Matter of fact, I think I’ma burn this room right now
So how this memory for some reason just won’t come down7

In the music video for “WASHED UP” it is not fear who burns the mansion; it is a new grim reaper character. Some fans have theorized this is NF’s anger, death itself, or simply NF. In “FEAR” it is hope who holds the gas can. Who is burning the mansion? Is it God, NF, hope, death, or anger? NF also repeatedly asks if this is what God wants:

Make all my hopes and my dreams come to life just to lay them to rest
Is this what You wanted? Is this what You wanted?
Give me a false sense of peace just to show me what peace really is
Is this what You wanted?8

What is this false sense of peace? I think he provides room for speculation as he ends “WASHED UP” with asking:

Am I on the brink of somethin’ great
Or have I lost it?
Am I on the verge of makin’ waves
Or am I washed up?9

It seems that NF no longer has peace due to his worry that he is washed up. Is NF’s peace in his career or is it in Christ? Ultimately, these questions that I propose will not be answered by me, so I leave them for NF to hopefully answer them in an upcoming album. But I do wish to make two key points about NF’s struggles.

Christian Culture’s Need For REALNESS

Even if NF’s peace is in Christ, that does not mean that he should not be relapsing. Growing up as an NF fan, I remember that some people thought that Christians should not listen to NF due to his music being too depressing. However, his authenticity, honesty, and vulnerability ought to help Christians. One third of the Psalms, which are music, are laments. We find many Psalms such as Psalms 3, 13, 22, 42, and 44 comforting even though they can be perceived as depressing. Psalm 88 is one of the most depressing as it ends with the author saying that darkness is his only friend. Ecclesiastes is known for its depressing character; however, it too is therapeutic. Jesus Himself is authentic and does not hide his emotions from God. Fulfilling Psalm 22 He asks, “my God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). The church, as the body of Christ, needs this authenticity and vulnerability!

I think a key aspect to NF’s success is his authenticity and vulnerability; he is REAL and people desire realness. Sadly, the church is not perceived as REAL. A 2024 study found that only 52% of individuals say that they think their church community has no stigma when it comes to mental health.10 This stigma is so prevalent within the church that NF left the Christian music industry because he felt his music did not fit the Christian mold.11 We often have a fear of how we are perceived within our church communities. If one admits that he is struggling, then he may wonder if his church community will shun him. However, David, a man after God’s own heart, never shied away from his struggles; his struggles even became a means of worship for Israel!

We must ask and discuss if the church makes room for questions, doubts, confessions, relapses, mental health, and thematically dark art as God gave us such artistic expressions as a therapeutic outlet. The church ought to be REAL and if the church cultivates this, then we can help those who are relapsing, who are struggling to overcome sin, who struggle with mental health, and who are wrestling with God. We need this because we all fit those descriptions; the question is, are we willing to be vulnerable enough to admit it and discuss it?

  1. NF, featuring Fleurie. “Mansion.” On Mansion, 2015, Capitol CMG, audio. ↩︎
  2. NF. “Therapy Session.” On Therapy Session, track 1, Capitol Christian Music Group, 2016, audio. ↩︎
  3. NF. “FEAR.” On FEAR, NF Real Music, LLC, 2025, audio.  ↩︎
  4. Ibid.  ↩︎
  5. Lewis, C.S. A Grief Observed, New York: HarperCollins, 1961. ↩︎
  6. NF. “WASHED UP.” On FEAR, NF Real Music, LLC, 2025, audio. ↩︎
  7. NF, featuring Fleurie. “Mansion.” On Mansion, 2015, Capitol CMG, audio. ↩︎
  8. NF. “FEAR.” On FEAR, NF Real Music, LLC, 2025, audio.   ↩︎
  9. NF. “WASHED UP.” On FEAR, NF Real Music, LLC, 2025, audio. ↩︎
  10. “New Polling Data Shows Most People of Faith Would Seek Mental Health Care if Recommended by Their Faith Leader”, American Psychiatric Association, September 16, 2024, https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/news-releases/new-polling-data-shows-most-people-of-faith-would#:~:text=WASHINGTON%2C%20D.C.%20%E2%80%94%20A%20survey%20released,condition%2C%E2%80%9D%20said%20Marketa%20M. ↩︎
  11. Justin Sharachik, “NF Gives Definitive Answers on His Faith & Christian Rap Roots”, May 13, 2023, https://rapzilla.com/2023-05-nf-gives-definitive-answers-faith-christian-rap-roots/. ↩︎
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